How often do you carry emotions when engaged in an argument with someone else? When you’ve mastered by anger, make peace with yourself can make you think clearly in finding solutions. But how?
1. Translate what you really want
When the debate with a friend, sister, coworkers, or anyone else, and the atmosphere the more heat, you will easily carried away. Not a good time to negotiate to find solutions together. Stop to always try to solve all sorts of problems. Stop the debate, and start writing your feelings, or search for a trusted friend to listen to your problems. In essence, it helps you think about the results or the most appropriate solution. Take a decision when the mind is controlled anger will only make your excuses and blaming others justification.
2. Gather as much information
When you are controlling your mind with more calm, you’re more likely to face others. Never assume that you know very well the source of the problem based on what other people say or think. Find out the source of the problem by collecting as much data and facts before you start talking about solutions. For example, your spouse upset because booming due bills for household spending. Rather than retaliate with screaming and anger, better to ask what makes him upset with the budget that you have made. Did he think you are spending more of it? Do you have to make cuts, or indeed the use of money must be tightened? Do a little research, compared with household expenditure in general (with a certain standard), then discuss the comparison with the complaint husband. Trying to understand the position of others (the recipient) will allow you to find solutions together.
3. Specify the form of negotiation process
If the mind is calm and controlled, specify to whom you want to talk and negotiate, when and where the most appropriate place. Preparation is important to create comfort for both parties are at loggerheads. Prepare also the conversation and the agenda, agreed upon who started the conversation. Prepare a special time to resolve the problem. This is to show your good faith.
4. Convey the right message
Begin discussions to seek a solution by generating a number of suggestions and ideas. Show that you have serious intentions to improve the situation. Say also that this good intention is to find a solution that could be agreed and implemented for the common good. Not enough just with words, you must also resolve the problem by demonstrating behaviors that support the positive direction. Incorrect posture, which indicates emotion, could disturb the atmosphere.
When you start negotiating to find a solution, control yourself. Do not interrupt; talk when it’s your turn. The response statement to calm the other person. Inhale, and give pause a few seconds to answer. Self-control is very important that a solution could be found with a calm mind and not emotion.
If all of these ways have been tried, but still have not found a resolution, mediation becomes the next step. You need help from experts or from a third party that is able to neutralize the atmosphere. Can a trusted friend of both parties, such as family, colleagues, or if you want more effective, search experts. Professional experts better understand the techniques to reconcile the warring parties. This is better than keep the matter quiet and foster it into negative energy.